Your dad touched me again.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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