Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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