the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
