a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
