So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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