I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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