It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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