you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
