Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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