shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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