none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
