WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
