Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
