I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
