chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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