great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
