I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Sponge bath it is.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize