I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
