ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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