is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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