Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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