Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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