Whod you bang
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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