Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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