Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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