Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
