And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
