You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
