I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
