Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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