So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
A+ Viking dick
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
