What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You made out with two different species that night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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