gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
