We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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