is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the day after is always just damage control
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
