Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
