He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
