how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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