Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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