You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
