BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
