I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
