it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
