I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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