I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
