Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
