I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You are the jesus of drinking
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
