her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
