Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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