her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
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This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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