really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
