She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
