Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
