Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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