Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
