What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's always time for handjobs
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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