Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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