also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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