i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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