Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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