We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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