in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
