dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
