I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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