We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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