i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
