he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Boobs speak an international language.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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